Midnight Munchkin Attack

Super Sexy Boyfriend Luke has two beautiful little girls who live with him two weeks out of the month. They’re his of course, I’m not saying he just has these cute random little girls who come and pester him and eat his food…that’s my job. I haven’t come up with clever nicknames for them yet, so I’ll just call them K & L.

I love them to death, but not having little ones of my own, there have been some things that have taken getting used to. Mostly the way that they’ll show up in his bedroom in the middle of the night. Not because of…reasons *nudge nudge wink wink*, but because they’re absolutely stealthy about it  until they are RIGHT NEXT to the bed. Only then do they say something that wakes me up. And my un-baby-seasoned system, not accustomed to tiny people waking me up at night, is CONVINCED that anyone who is suddenly in the room MUST be an axe murderer.

K (silently moving across the house and appearing beside the bed): …………DADDY I FREW UP! 😦

Me (jumping out of my skin into adrenaline pounding fight or flight mode because theres an invader in the room): AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

K:  AAAHH!*BAARFFF*

Oopsie.

I’m getting better though, earlier this week L came into the room crying that her pillow pet wasn’t in her bed (it had fallen next to the bed) and I did NOT leap up and try to karate chop her, so that’s an improvement.

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