Monthly Archives: August 2012

Gibbs says: Rule #9

Special Agent Gibbs has been visiting me in my sleep…in a totally un-scandalous sort of way. Considering what a total NCIS nerd I am and my propensity for bizarre dreams I’m not really surprised I’m starting to get guest stars from the cast, I just am impressed by how horribly awkward my sleeping brain has managed to make them.

Dream #1

Paper or plastic?

I’m in line at the grocery store when I realize that Mark Harmon was my checker. We make extremely awkward small talk when I realize who he is. I say something along the lines of “Wow, I mean, you’re the star of a really popular tv series and you still have to get a second job at a grocery store to make ends meet? That….sucks.”

He stares at me for a minute then in total Gibbs fashion replies “…..yah.” <extremely awkward silence>

I awkwardly gather my groceries and as I turn to leave realize that the rest of the cast is waiting for him.  Dinozzo (not Michael Weatherly) gives me a look like what the fuck is wrong with you?? And I leave. The end.

As if that one wasn’t weird enough last night he showed up again. This time he made his appearance as Gibbs himself and he had a message for me: Shave your armpits “because no one wants to see that”.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

PS: Just in case you’re as concerned as Gibbs about my grooming habits, I never don’t shave my arm pits. Now you know.

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Horses and Their Supernatural Powers

This is an old one (ya know, back when I had landlords and stuff), but it still makes me laugh 😉

 

I believe my landlords horses are capable of teleportation.

Its true!

Not too long ago I was cleaning stalls when I thought I saw something move in the dark. Looking hard, I didn’t see anything so I continued to muck. As I was leaving the barn I saw “something” move again and realized that it was Sadie, the 16 hand 1500 lb black Percheron, grazing on my front lawn. Needless to say I was slightly surprised and spent the next few minutes trying to herd her back into the barn.

To this day though I’m confused as to how she got OUT of the barn, since the ONLY way out would have been for her to silently and stealthily sneak past the stall I was cleaning without me seeing her. Now in my experiance 16hh 1500lb Percherons are not really known for their skills in stealth movement so the only other option is….

TELEPORTATION!! Its only logical :nod:

Then today they did it again! I was filling water buckets and so was peering in the stall to see how full they were. I observed Rusty, a chestnut morgan, munching on his hay. I took two steps to turn off the water faucet and pick up his scoop of grain. I entered Rusty’s stall and not really looking at the horse said “Rusty you’ve made a total mess of your-” I was going to say grain bucket, but at that point I had looked up and realized that the horse I was staring at wasn’t Rusty, but Khaiber (a bay arab)! We just stared at each other for a moment or two, Khaiber blinking with doe like innocence. I walked back out of the stall to see Rusty, in Khaibers stall! WTF?

The paddock gates were open, but still, they would have had to left the stalls, gone out of their fairly large paddocks and back through the others, and back into each others stalls in a matter of a few seconds. So they either completed the fastest equine Chinese fire drill in history, I’m out of my mind and cant tell the difference between a chestnut morgan and a dark bay arabian, OR….(you guessed it)

TELEPORTATION!!

Alternate theory…they’re unicorns in disguise. I’m gonna think on that one.

 

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