Friday Foto: Voltair

Oh dearie, has it been a whole week now? I’ll work on that! Here’s a pretty horse to appease you ūüėČ

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Friday Foto: Sammy

I’m going to try something fun (or at least I think it’s fun) and post a photo weekly here. I probably won’t say too much about it, I’ll just let the photo speak for itself. I might do the same on my business blog, god knows how badly I suck at keeping it updated :-p So let’s begin:

I’ll start with a collage of Samantha (Sammy/ Samantha Pants/ Pants/ Dingo Dog/ Ding) because she hasn’t been introduced and she is my heart.

Look at that! I’m a real photographer and everything ūüėČ

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I have an addiction

I have an addiction, but the first step is admitting that you have a problem right?

This is the result of my latest breakdown:

canon eos rebel xs film

chicken salt & pepper shakers checking out my new toy

Me: I bought a camera!

Super Sexy Boyfriend Luke: Don’t you have, like, 50?

Me: Yes, but this one is different.

Super Sexy Boyfriend Luke: There is a word used to describe behavior like this, and I think it has “phile” at the end of it.

Me: Or possibly “aholic”.

But it IS different! While I do have 4 other SLRs they all have their own purpose. My current collection (of SLRs at least):

Pentax K1000 Рmy first SLR. 100% manual, and then even a little more because the meter stopped working :-p It mostly just holds a place in my heart (and on the shelf)

Pentax ZX-5n – my next SLR that I bought because I could use the really fancy JC Penny’s lenses that came with the K1000. AND it had auto advance. I was pimpin. I don’t think it’s been used since I got the next¬†camera¬†on my list…

Canon 20D – my first dSLR! After quite a few years of hard service it’s mostly retired because the AF quit. Though right now it’s on vacation in Japan with my sister & her husband who are artsy enough that they’re cool with that. (it’s kinda retro, ya know?)

Canon 1D– yes, just a 1D no other fancy letters. This is my current workhorse (don’t die of shock), however, it’s an old timer and has started to ask for retirement…several years ago. I’ve told it when it earns me a 5D mkIII it can go into semi-retirement (I’ll keep it around as a backup), but no sooner.

Canon Rebel XS film– The newcomer! I picked it up for all of $10 at Goodwill. ¬†All it needed was a set of batteries, which unfortunately cost $20 :-p It’s film, but since it’s in the EOS family, I can use all my current Canon lenses (except for the kit lens that came with the 20D but I don’t admit to using that one).

So from that list it’s pretty obvious why I need 5 different SLRs…I think.

I’m pretty sure that’s all the SLRs I need for now. Any other vintage/antique/toy camera is another story entirely however.

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What have I agreed to??

When my aunt asked if I would be interested in joining her networking group, every fiber in my body said no, but for some reason, my mouth said yes. My mouth said yes because the photography phone has not been ringing like I would like it to and the idea of a bunch of strangers feeling obligated to refer people to me and/or use my services themselves sounds alright to me. Every other fiber of my body said no because I’m a complete introvert and networking meetings are what I imagine hell to be like. I went to one once and spent most of the time hiding in the bathroom.

Is 11am too early to start drinking? Because I don’t have a¬†prescription¬†for valium or xanax or any of that good stuff and I’m thinking it would definitely help. Also does anyone have any valium or xanax they’d like to share? Kidding… Sort of.

I’ve decided I should definitely practice my elevator speech so I don’t mess it up when I get there. Here’s what I have so far:

Hello, I’m Liz. I shoot people. Maybe you could be next. Thank you.

That’s just a rough draft, I’m open to suggestions.

 

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Turtle Burgers = Night Terrors

I’ve heard people say that eating rich foods before you go to bed can give you weird dreams, and I definitely think there’s something to that. Last night I had the freakiest flipping nightmare I’ve ever had and what had I eaten that night?

Oh, just a turtle burger.

When my super sexy boyfriend Luke first texted me if I knew what a turtle burger was I was a little…worried. I hadn’t a clue what he was talking about and I was afraid to google it for fear the text had stemmed from an inappropriate workplace conversation and they were something horrible akin to “blue waffles” or “lemonade parties” (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T GOOGLE THOSE!). Turns out turtle burgers are perfectly safe to google as long as you’re not a vegetarian.

If you’re not familiar with turtle burgers they’re a seasoned ground beef patty, wrapped in cheddar cheese, wrapped in woven bacon, with cut hotdog limbs. It’s an adorable little heart attack!… Or a terrifying one if you go off of the pic I found on flickr of one and considering the horrifying night I had later.

08 Turkey Bacon Turtle Burger

Turtle burger, you scare the shit out of me…and not just because you’re kinda creepy looking.

Seriously y’all. This was a straight up horror movie. Like Paranormal Activity combined with one of the billion Saw movies (or at least I think, I don’t watch that scary shit!). I woke up at 4:30 in full fight or flight mode, woke super sexy boyfriend Luke up I was clinging to him so desperately, then made him turn on the lights, and then made him check my phone to make sure it wasn’t being controlled by a¬†demon¬†since that was part of the dream. And yes I realize that’s moderately to extremely crazy, but this was some SCARY SHIT!

While truthfully the turtle burger may not have had anything to do with it, it’s not like I’m super stressed or took some¬†seriously¬†hallucinogenic¬†drugs or ate the mushrooms in the yard, the only thing that was different than normal was the turtle burgers. So in the same way that I¬†unconsciously¬†blame Little Smokies¬†wieners¬†for me giving me the flu when I was 9, I blame turtle burgers for this¬†awful¬†dream.

What do you call fear of turtle burgers? Carnechelonaphobia?

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Drunken iPhoneography

Maybe I’m crazy, but I totally love the photos I take when I’m drunk. I feel like I have a bit of a different eye after a couple Malibu & Cherry Cokes, more abstract maybe? Or maybe it’s that I give images a chance that I would have ignored while sober?

Of course it could just be that I tend to forget about anything I shoot when I’m drunk so it’s a pleasant surprise the next morning… which nicely counteracts the UNpleasant surprises I’ve woken up to.

These were taken in Helix Oregon, a little nothing of a town with a kickass little rodeo held over Memorial Day Weekend. I drive five hours to shoot it every year AND IT’S WORTH IT. After the rodeo they have a band in the beer garden. After drinking a couple pink something or others that tasted like fruit something, I decided that I needed to do some photographies…

I’ve always loved the contrast of rolling fields & sky ‚̧

It bothers me that this isn’t straight lol I’m sure it looked level at the time.

This is the Raper Van. Thats a whole ‘nother post altogether.

Bless you Hipstamatic for being there when wielding my full camera rig would be a bad idea.

Have any of my 2.5 readers ever tried shooting when drunk? Any decent results? Do share!

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Oh Shiitake!

I’m growing magical mushrooms in my front yard. Not on purpose of course, unless you count grossly neglecting basic lawn care until mushrooms start growing as “on purpose”. I know this because yesterday when I came home from running errands in town I found my 60 year old neighbor from across the cul- da-sac yelling at a stoner kid….in my front yard. Their argument went as follows:

SharonP: THEY’RE PSYCHEDELIC MUSHROOMS!!
Stoner Kid (in the most stoner kid voice you can imagine): they’re not psychedelic, man, they’re totally not!
SharonP: PSYCHEDELIC MUSHROOMS!!1!!ONE!
StonerKid: they’re for my biology class-
SharonP: I’M CALLING THE POLICE!!!

And with that StonerKid got on his bike took his “not psychedelic” mushrooms and got the heck out of there, flipping Sharon and I the bird as he sped away. I was still standing in my driveway blinking in confusion as to what had just happened.

Later Sharon came over to point out my magical mushrooms to me. I ohhed and ahhed and acted very shocked, but the truth is I had actually suspected that they were magical mushrooms when I first saw them the day before. Not because I know what magical mushrooms look like (I can quite honestly say I’m totally clueless with anything drug related and plan to remain so), but because I had heard the entire neighborhood has issues with magical mushrooms growing in the lawns and the¬†trespassing¬†dirty hippies that go along with them.

Truthfully, I find that pretty awesome, not because I’m pro dirty hippy or magical mushroom, but because this is probably the nicest neighborhood in Monroe. People think they’re very fancy living in their fancy boxes made of ticky tacky…and the lawns are infested with magical mushrooms and dirty hippies.

Is it wrong that I kinda want them back? I mean, it’s not like I’m going to EAT them, it’s just on principle! You don’t see me showing up in front of StonerKids¬†house¬†yurt and taking things out of HIS¬†yard¬†whatever it is that hippies have instead of yards, do you?

So I guess my task for tomorrow is to rid my lawn of mushrooms, which should be pretty easy, all I really need to do is mow the lawn, plus a little fungiside I think. The drum circle and sit in are going to be a little tougher to eliminate though, anyone have ideas on that?

PS: Side note this is what I found when I googled “hippie yard” to try to figure out what it is that hippies have instead of yards http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Nocturnal_Hippie_Artist

Awesome. “The Chair Incident” is my favorite part, although I can’t say I remember that happening to me.

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Why you probably shouldn’t read this blog

This is about my fifth or sixth attempt to start a blog which is a pretty good reason to stop reading right there. Cowgirl isn’t always the most consistent ….and sometimes she refers to herself in the third person as ‚Äúcowgirl‚ÄĚ. Who does that?

My business is mediocre, despite being an awesome photographer if I do say so myself (and I do say so!).

Because of that mediocre business, I live at home. Most certainly not because I want to, but because landlords are pretty particular about wanting for you to PAY rent. Picky picky. So you can probably add loser to the list :-/

I curse. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes I even say fuck. Just like that

Also ‚Äúbat-shit crazy‚ÄĚ and ‚Äúass hat‚ÄĚ. And ‚Äúdouche canoe‚ÄĚ thats a good one. You probably shouldn’t expose your virgin ears to such a thing.

But I’m starting this damn thing anyway, even if you probably shouldn’t read it, even if I hide it from the people who know me for a while, because I feel like I have stories to tell. Stories that might entertain others because they’re funny or interesting or even just flat out nuts. And who knows, maybe I can even find other swearing losers who refer to themselves in the third person who can relate.

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